Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Chicken Soup thinks it's time to demand an I.Q. test before allowing anyone to breed.

Whenever I hear the words "Texas" and "football" in the same sentence, I know that psychotic people are somehow involved.

A 297 pound 12 year old in Texas is upset because he's no longer allowed to play in the "PeeWee" league against kids who weigh no more than 135 pounds. I won't get long winded here but apparently very few of those 297 pounds consist of brain matter.

Every domestic terrorist wannabe in America can take comfort from the fact that there are adults...lots of adults who see absolutely nothing wrong with allowing someone who is bigger than most professional football players to compete against middle school kids, most of whom are about 200 pounds lighter. If adults who are trusted to become parents and coaches place no value on the lives and safety of children, why should terrorists?


  1. ""I don't want to play in school right now because it's people that's had experience and I want to get some experience first and then start playing," Earnheart told KDFW. "I just want to play because my teammates are my friends. I know them. I don't want to go play for somebody else I don't know.""


    "I'm new at this. I'm freakishly large and that alone would be more than enough to sustain me. Nevertheless, I'd prefer stomping all over people much smaller and weaker than me. WAHHH! WAHHH! WAHHH! MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS ARE BEING STOLEN AWAY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA?!!?!

  2. They all seem to know their rights yet few of them have any concept of other people's rights.

    Parents who display an absence of concern for the safety of other people's kids make it easy for domestic terrorists like the "Joker" to rationalize that people are just plain evil and deserve to be shot full of holes.

  3. Oh yeah, that reminds me- one of the biggest bastards in my Jr. High was literally, the biggest bastard there. He probably weighed nearly 300 pounds- and he played Football.

    Not saying that being fat and playing football automatically = being bastard (knew a nice fat one in HS) but this guy was definitely a raving asshole. Even if the guy above was a raving asshole (which he probably is, sounds like the kind of guy that would get off and beating up little kids in a 2-player videogame), he'd hide that in the interview.

  4. The articles I read gave me no impression that the 12 year old was unusually antisocial. I just think his parents and coaches are dumb, and dangerous to other people's kids.

  5. Of course they're his friends and they want him there.... the guy's a massive elephant who can stomp the competition!

    I know he doesn't sound like an asshole at first glance, but look into it more closely (selfishly wanting a major illegal advantage, automatically being over twice the size of everyone there) and you'll see someone who is selfish and sees nothing wrong in claiming an unfair advantage but then whines when it's taken away.

  6. He behaves as he does because his adult role models are assholes who place no value on the safety of other people's children. Take notice of the title of this post.

  7. That makes sense. The parents are encouraging his asshole attitude and helping forge him into a massive asshole of epic proportions.