Chicken Soup has an embarrassing question...

Someone using the online name "Completely disgusted by ignorance" expressed her disagreement with my perception of Ryan Tucker's criminal behavior on Debbie Schussel's website a few weeks ago. The post she left a comment on was dated August 22, 2006 and the comment she appeared to be replying to was dated November 19, 2009. It's unlikely she stumbled upon it randomly so I'm left to assume that she was doing an internet search for Ryan Tucker.

I replied to her comment with an invitation to present the facts of Ryan Tucker's behavior as she perceives them.

"Completely disgusted by ignorance" is always welcome to enlighten all of us "schmucks" by presenting a few "facts." We could begin with why she believes that we're "schmucks." Could it be that her achievements in life are so great that she has every right to look down on the rest of us? Has she cured cancer, developed a new and efficient form of spacecraft propulsion, established world peace? After all, I've led a pretty unremarkable life. I've been consistently employed for the better part of forty years. I've managed to avoid establishing any professional relationships with our nation's law enforcement community. In a society that boasts an impressive divorce rate, I've managed to stay married to the same woman for 25 years. Stranger still...we actually like each other. My children are earning high grades in their various science disciplines in college...

But that's about it...the portrait of a total loser.

Her Majesty in comparison has...um...well...what is it she's been doing anyway? What exactly has she accomplished that makes her feel so superior to the rest of us?

I have a potentially embarrassing question for Her Majesty...

Have you ever supported yourself by working a job?

Please...enlighten all of us ignorant schmucks. Regale us with tales of your many worldly accomplishments

I'm assuming that this is the same woman who is the subject of the post immediately preceding this one...but I cannot be sure. Perhaps she will enlighten me with facts.

Chicken Soup with Ryan Tucker's greatest fan revisited...

Many years ago a close acquaintance of mine relayed a memorable scene from the play, "Evita."

Evita Peron is complaining to an old naval officer that people are still referring to her with a very uncomplimentary term. The naval officer calmly replies, "I've been retired for years and people still call me captain."

Someone whom I assume to be a close female relative of Ryan Tucker left a few comments here and on other weblogs criticizing our decision to remind readers of Ryan's criminal behavior. She expresses her frustration with the fact that after so many years Ryan Tucker and his three friends still have to read about their crime. I'm also assuming she's concerned because his children are now perusing the internet and beginning to realize that their father, in spite of being retired for years, is still being called a violent criminal. So here's my solution:

Assuming you really are a close female relative of Ryan Tucker, you can expose the horrible lies written about him by bringing his children to meet Bryan Boyd. They will see that he is perfectly healthy. They will see that he is not a brain damaged cripple living in his mother's spare bedroom. They will see that he has a regular job, a girlfriend or wife, and lives a reasonably good life. And when you're finished exposing me as a liar, have Bryan Boyd leave a comment on this weblog explaining that he was not attacked by four vicious sociopaths, one of whom attacked him at least once before. Have Bryan Boyd provide a link to his Facebook page or weblog where I can view photographs of Mr. Boyd enjoying his good health. Do something besides whine about the fact that in the information age, being a close female relative of a violent criminal is embarrassing.

And if you are the woman who knowingly chose to marry a violent criminal when you could have chosen almost any one of a million far more civilized men to spend your life with, there is something very important you can do for your children.

You can strongly advise your children to avoid doing anything they don't want the entire world reading about for the rest of eternity.

Tally Ho Horned Frog.

Chicken Soup comments on Izzy Kalman's defense of the First Amendment...

As readers may already be aware, Chicken Soup has been prevented from leaving comments on Izzy Kalman's Psychology Today website. When I attempt to leave a comment, I'm rewarded with a blank white screen. After a few attempts, I did what Kalman probably hoped I'd do. I simply stopped trying.

Then I read his latest article.

Izzy Kalman criticizes any effort to restrict what students can say while preventing me from posting comments, not just on his articles, but on every article by every author on the Psychology Today website.

I then found that I could leave comments under the name and e-mail address I'd been using all along as long as I didn't do it from home. Here's what I wrote.

"If you are a public school student and you are physically strong, unusually aggressive, or skilled in the fighting arts...in other words...if other students have good reason to fear you, then you enjoy the right to say anything you want about anyone.

If you are physically weak, unaggressive, and unskilled in the fighting arts, you are free to keep your mouth shut or someone will shut it for you.

By the way...why am I not allowed to post here from my i.p. address? Is my freedom of speech unusually disturbing to you?

My comment was titled, "Some are more equal than others" and though I didn't include this description in my comment, I like to think of Kalman's interpretation of our Constitutional Rights as the First Amendment, Columbine Style.

Feel free to let him and his readers know what you think.

Chicken Soup with Matthew Barnett's rapist and attempted murderer enablers...

I wrote about Matthew Barnett's behavior in a previous post.

A few weeks ago America once again shamelessly demonstrated its customary level of depraved indifference for violent crime victims. Matthew Barnett received the token, ritual finger wagging from the Judiciary including such horrible, medieval punishments as "a suspended sentence of four months in the county jail and two years of probation." In layman's terms this is roughly equivalent to the "double secret probation" imposed upon Delta House in the movie "Animal House."

Judge Glen Dietrich also imposed seven special restrictions:

1) "No alcohol." Yeah...I'm sure this is enforceable.

2) "No contact with the victim." There were no such restrictions placed on the assholes who harassed the victim's family enough to prompt a change of address. Nor was there any mention of the arsonists who burned the victim's home. Blaming an electrical fault is worse than insulting to anyone with an I.Q. over 50.

3) "100 hours of community service." No doubt coaching children's football. He is, after all a role model.

4) "Restitution of $1800 for counseling services for the victim." No doubt paid for by the wonderful parents who role modeled his majesty's behavior.

5) "Drug testing." How often and how much warning will he receive from his politically connected family?

6) "Substance abuse counseling." This has a questionable history of success.

7) "Acknowledgement of wrongdoing to the victim in the form of a verbal apology delivered by the Jackson County prosecutor. That apology was “heartfelt” and “genuine,” Peters Baker said during the press conference." He wasn't even required to apologize himself. The prosecutor did it for him. This last gem of depraved indifference is especially heartwarming. A politically connected rapist and attempted murderer was saved from the embarrassment of having to deliver a disingenuous verbal apology in person.

As the group "Anonymous" tweeted, "Good job America."

I'm sure the world's terrorists are sleeping soundly knowing that we're such a caring and civilized nation.