Sunday, September 29, 2013

Chicken Soup with America's astronomical divorce rate...

I recently celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary and contrary to statistical expectations, we still like each other and enjoy each other's company. My children have told me many times that most of their friends' and classmates' parents are either divorced or clearly should be. The contrast between my own success and the failure of so many others has given me an opportunity to think about all the reasons so many marriages fail. I've put together a short list of some of the more obvious reasons. Feel free to add to it.

1) Men marry women they don't particularly like and don't even find physically attractive in order to avoid being the only guy in the neighborhood who doesn't have a sex life. In America, celibacy isn't just physically uncomfortable. Men who've reached their 20's and are still virgins or suspected of being virgins are treated in an increasingly unpleasant manner by their peers. If you've ever wondered how women who look like Honey Boo-Boo's mother manage to get pregnant, here's your answer. Men who fear being outcasts will screw anything...just to avoid being teased, ostracized, or otherwise punished for not screwing something.

2) Men marry very attractive women they have no respect for, don't like, and frequently abuse for the same reason rich guys buy expensive sports cars. Nyah! Nyah! See what I have? You wish you had one of these don't you. You're not man enough to get one of these. Nyah! Nyah! What could possibly cause such a relationship of equals to fall apart? Yes...that was sarcasm.

3) Oops! I'm pregnant. Shotgun weddings are like leaking fuel tanks. It's gonna blow sooner or later.

4) Believe it or not there are still a lot of women around who won't have intercourse with their boyfriends before they get married. This used to be the normal way to do things. Today it's almost as much of a disaster waiting to happen as a shotgun wedding.

There's my short list. Feel free to add to it.


  1. I knew a guy who married a cheerleader sweetheart from college- had no brains, but pretty as can be.

    15 years, no kids, he got tired of her and divorced. A marriage partner should also be a confidante.

    1. She was an obvious trophy. Her duty was to satisfy his sexual needs and elevate his peer status by looking good on his arm. A 15 year marriage initiated after college would make her about 36 or 37. She probably no longer looks so good on his arm so he got rid of her like a fashion model gets rid of last year's clothing. She was obviously a moron infatuated with an asshole. As readers may have suspected. I have little respect for women who ignore the fact that their boyfriends are sociopaths.

    2. I know the guy, he's a doctor I see. He actually is very smart and nice. When he married again, it was to someone much nicer and more intelligent.

    3. The previous spouse was "The Starter Wife." She was the hot babe who made his male acquaintances envious and satisfied his youthful sexual needs. Now that he's a middle aged, respectable professional who is a lot less horny than the average college student, he needed to dump the has been hottie and trade her in for someone who looked and acted more like the wife of a respected professional. The usual use of the term "Starter Wife" involves the opposite situation. The young, struggling doctor is married to someone who is mature, loyal, and willing to put up with sacrifice for the possibility of delayed reward. When he becomes successful he dumps the respectable "Starter Wife" for a young hottie bimbo. The sad part of your doctor friend's situation is that instead of being ridiculed for dumping his wife in favor of a young hottie, he'll actually be respected for trading up.

  2. Btw, what are the actual divorce statistics?

    1. I'd always heard or read that the number of marriages ending in divorce was about 50%. I just checked a website called divorce rate dot org. They dispute the 50% figure but no one appears to arguing that the rate is low.

      There are people who want to make it more difficult to get a divorce. This would clean up the statistics, a bit like painting over rust, but it wouldn't really address the fact that most people marry the wrong person. If I could, I would make it difficult to get married and easy to get divorced.

  3. Since you brought up the topic of this blog, I decided to post my own experience with divorcees: my parents. They split up in the summer of 2010 because my dad was being a highly antagonistic jerk to me and my other folks. Why, I remember that he mistreated me a lot when I was younger. I mean, have you seen the stuff that he had done? If he did, it would make you sick to your stomach.

    Now that I brought up the topic of my pop, I'll post this list of rotten things that he did:

    1. He became sexist to my mom because he learned it from his dad, who I'm thankful isn't alive anymore.

    2. How he was sexist is that he refused to give her money just 'cause she's female. But I'm glad that I gave up on that chauvinistic way of thinking.

    3. He made me work for him from January 1, 2006 to September 3, 2010 but never for once paid me so much as a penny just because he made excuses to not do so.

    4. He became a pedophile to a girl.

    5. He tried to force me out of some places that he and me lived in just because of small mistakes that I made. What a paranoid and narrow-minded creep he is.

    6. He told other lies to my other folks.

    7. He forced me to do things that I didn't want to do just as he did to my brother, who's a few years younger than me.

    8. He became an alcoholic. At least, that's what my mom suggested to me.

    You know what else? My dad keeps gives money to his old family instead of his new one just because his mom, who isn't alive either, told him to. And that's wrong since he should have used that wealth to support his second group of folks.

    Hopefully, Fowl Ideas, you aren't like that terrible parent of mine. Why, I bet that he's like Izzy Kalman some ways. One of the ways is hypocrisy. Another way is being supportive of bullying, which I find ironic because my dad bullied me even though he defended me from some bullies when I was in third grade.

    Now that my pop is no longer living in the United States like me and my other folks are, I unofficially took over his role but in a better way. One example is that I try to act as a father figure to my brother even though he doesn't always listen to me.

    Anyway, you don't ever want to meet that male parent of mine. If so, he just might take advantage of you like he did to me.

    Now that I'm done typing about you-know-who, I'll add some suggestions to your list:

    1. Certain men marry women who they want to control just because they want to force their macho and male chauvinism on them.

    2. Certain men marry women because they to make children just to enslave them.

    3. Certain men marry just 'cause they want to boost their statuses and overinflated ego.

    4. Certain men who are married laze around their houses while their wives to all the work.

    5. Hostile men force their spouses to stay home while they go out and do the big work.

    That's all for now.

  4. There are still men around who believe that women are inferior and should be treated as domestic servants. And there are lots of women who are attracted to them.