Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Chicken Soup with Ryan Tucker's greatest fan revisited...

Many years ago a close acquaintance of mine relayed a memorable scene from the play, "Evita."

Evita Peron is complaining to an old naval officer that people are still referring to her with a very uncomplimentary term. The naval officer calmly replies, "I've been retired for years and people still call me captain."

Someone whom I assume to be a close female relative of Ryan Tucker left a few comments here and on other weblogs criticizing our decision to remind readers of Ryan's criminal behavior. She expresses her frustration with the fact that after so many years Ryan Tucker and his three friends still have to read about their crime. I'm also assuming she's concerned because his children are now perusing the internet and beginning to realize that their father, in spite of being retired for years, is still being called a violent criminal. So here's my solution:

Assuming you really are a close female relative of Ryan Tucker, you can expose the horrible lies written about him by bringing his children to meet Bryan Boyd. They will see that he is perfectly healthy. They will see that he is not a brain damaged cripple living in his mother's spare bedroom. They will see that he has a regular job, a girlfriend or wife, and lives a reasonably good life. And when you're finished exposing me as a liar, have Bryan Boyd leave a comment on this weblog explaining that he was not attacked by four vicious sociopaths, one of whom attacked him at least once before. Have Bryan Boyd provide a link to his Facebook page or weblog where I can view photographs of Mr. Boyd enjoying his good health. Do something besides whine about the fact that in the information age, being a close female relative of a violent criminal is embarrassing.

And if you are the woman who knowingly chose to marry a violent criminal when you could have chosen almost any one of a million far more civilized men to spend your life with, there is something very important you can do for your children.

You can strongly advise your children to avoid doing anything they don't want the entire world reading about for the rest of eternity.

Tally Ho Horned Frog.



    I got a gift for you, Mr. Fowl Ideas.

    This book.... IS TOTALLY AWESOME! Since you read Kalman's book, you deserve something good.

    The author totally "gets it" when it comes to jocks, and never fails to castigate them and all of their enablers.

    The story also has a happy ending, as most of the offenders in the book are forced to go to prison.

    As for the plot- basically, a team of spoiled jocks in a small town decide to rape a retarded girl.

    One one kid, some punk rock outsider, decideds to contact newspapers and television channels across the country about what happened here, it becomes a national scandal with everybody in the country- with the exception of about half of the population of Glen Ridge- dogpiling on the jocks, school and their enablers.

  2. Hear, hear. These enablers need even more of a wake up than the thugs that they coddle.

  3. Maybe the kiddies are hearing about it from their classmates at school.

    1. I did reference that in the post. I'm still waiting for her to correct me with the facts.