Saturday, April 28, 2012

Chicken Soup is pulled out of retirement by David Salmon, hero of the Franklin, Massachusetts High School Panthers...

Just when I thought it was safe to go into retirement, another well formed stool emerges from the orifice of The American Family. Terrorists the world over must be sleeping soundly indeed knowing that so many American parents place so little value on the lives and safety of other people's children.

David Salmon, Franklin High School Panther #32 decided to memorialize the 13th anniversary of the Columbine Massacre by reminding the world that athletes still believe they can get away with anything. In this display of wholesome, manly, family values violence, David Salmon sucker punches his victim, Cory Pingeton and then stalks off down the hallway (in a manly fashion). The social climbing females are no doubt squealing with delight and hoping and praying to be chosen by Him. He is a football player after all.

Enough about His Majesty.

What really matters from the viewpoint of a terrorist is how the community reacts to David Salmon's criminal behavior. Terrorists, foreign or domestic tend to attack things that for them symbolize evil. And anyone who's ever been victimized knows from personal experience that most of the psychological damage is imposed by those who shamelessly defend the abuser and blame the victim. America's sociopath worshipping, victim blaming culture produces a glut of people whose adolescent experiences leave them with a seething desire to take revenge upon someone worthy of hatred. These potential killers, bombers, and arsonists understand that no one who is civilized enough to have earned the right to complain about terrorism would be caught dead enabling a knuckle dragging bully. How will American society react to the criminal behavior of David Salmon?

Will the media take a hard look at the parents who raised him? Will they look for evidence that mommy and daddy role modeled or telegraphed approval of violent behavior? Potential terrorists are probably watching for this. Will the media even bother to investigate the most common source of criminal behavior? Or will the media display the usual cowardice by avoiding any indictment of our precious Institution of Family?

Will our law enforcement community step on its own dick by cutting a deal that allows His Majesty to avoid a significant prison term, allows him to return to school (where his presence will intimidate victims and embolden other criminals), allows him to continue participating in violent contact sports, and basically reminds every Timothy McVeigh and Columbine killer wannabe that victims really don't matter? The South Hadley bullies walked. Will David Salmon also be allowed to strut away from significant punishment?

Will American football fans continue to cheer wildly when violent sociopaths prance onto the field? American football fans don't appear to have a problem with athletic criminals as long as someone else's son or daughter is being brutalized. And if the public places no value on the safety of victims, why should terrorists?

The next time you read about yet another school shooting, another serial killer/arsonist/bomber, or another act of terrorism, just think about how Americans reacted to the criminal behavior of The American Family's latest sociopath. Will Americans put their money where their mouths are by imposing a stiff prison term on His Majesty, or will the world's terrorists be reminded that Americans don't place any greater value on the safety of victims than terrorists do?

Go Panthers!


  1. Someone using the clever name "anonymous" left a comment accusing David Salmon's parents of doing something that would automatically make them completely unqualified to raise hamsters, let alone human offspring. Unfortunately, "anonymous" left no link to a news article or court document so I cannot post the full text of his or her comment.


  2. He is not a Panther and not a football player. He is a former player.

  3. He is a violent sociopath who was willing to risk condemning an otherwise healthy teenager to a lifetime in a wheelchair so he could practice terrorism against the local student body. The fact that he once played football should surprise no one. The gridiron produces many such sociopaths.